Happy 33rd Bday to Me!
Thirty-three years old! Why not now?! Let’s get crazy and weird and stop living in a bubble!
As I sit back and tell my story, I reflect on the people in my life that provided me with the support and love that helped me through everything. They helped me through all of my bad decisions and unforeseen circumstances. They stuck by me and now, here I am.
So many people die without telling their stories, and I want to make sure that changes. Sometimes your story helps others tell theirs. Many times, we blame others for our own happiness and expect them to change it, but it is through ourselves that happiness is controlled. Effort alone defines your success, and you never know what you are capable of until you try.
I confess that I used to say “the reason people are successful is because things were handed down to them.” Negativity always creeps in, but it is essential to overcome it. So many of us are worried about the “likes” we have on a social media post or the acceptance of feeling “normal”- but fuck all that. I am here to tell you life is going to hit you hard sometimes, and you will forget the shit that really matters. Do not let it last long, because time will fly by and you will waste it worrying about shit that doesn’t matter.
As I write this, I am thirty three years old and feel the best I have ever felt.
Did it take forever? Fuck yes. Did I get hit by trucks and rolled over again and again? Fuck yes! Was all this worth it? Yes, it was because I am still here to tell my story and impact other lives. Does it suck sometimes? Yes, it does. Did I want to give up and fight depression daily? Hell yes. It is no secret that life is full of battles, but if you really look into the battles they are mostly against yourself and what you think “normal” is, or how you are “expected” to act from society. Stop, see how you react to everything, and change it! Change it to something that makes you happiest at that moment. Life is full of small moments that we never get back. And if you get caught acting like an ass hole, you miss the beauty, and the cycle continues, and you get mad at yourself again. The vicious cycle of negativity and “norms” will always try to creep back in.
There are times I stop moving so fast because I miss too many things with my little humans. I want to raise small, loving humans and attention is the best gift you can give anyone. I want to teach them to see the world’s beauty and overcome any challenges in their way.
At my lowest, I remember that life is full of loss, shock, and embarrassment, but fuck it. Life is also full of love, a shit ton of laughter, support, and smiles. Who cares about the people that are going to judge me because of the story I am living. Fuck them and their hateful attitude. They are just battling themselves and the happiness that they expect others to provide them. Stop!! Hold a fucking mirror with you because when you don’t agree with the shit that is happening around you, it is on you to change it, not others. So hold that fucking mirror up.
So go for a run, lift some weights, meditate, have a drink, or eat a piece of cake. Do whatever you need to get through something that is out of your control; maybe all of the above.
People often look at me with complete judgment when I share stories about my infertility or my husband recovering sex addiction. Through this judgment, I found more happiness with myself and my authenticity. It reminded me to look at myself, not worry about what others think, and to be honest with myself.
It is absolutely crazy how people can come back in and out of your life, but we forget the constant connection we have with ourselves. Me, myself, I, and the different stages we are in is what remains constant. People say your thirty-third year is Jesus’s year, no disrespect, but it is “Katy’s Year.”
I am working for a company that is focused on people, and that is what I have always focused on. In previous leadership positions, I was told that being a “people manager” is bad. So fuck it, that is why I am working for myself. Connecting with people and assisting them in growth is what I thrive in and where I am the happiest. Shout out to one of my old bosses that thought a flaw of mine was being a people person. Here I am, doing it all right for me!! I will continue to impact people with emotions, similarities, and empathy. With all due, respect fuck everyone else’s opinion of me.
I will push my way into people’s lives. I am going to be torn down by loved ones and strangers, but being me is worth it! Loud, loving, and lively- take it or leave it!
I love going overboard and stepping over boundaries, and I am going to keep doing it. Thirty-three is the year of the unknown but also the year of “self.” What defines me? Definitely not what I look like on paper but, more in my heart.