I am at a point in my life where I enjoy educating people and letting people know that prying into people’s lives without genuine love and compassion is unacceptable. People need support and positive vibes, not emotionless questions about superficial society norms. It is exhausting to go through the obstacle and teach people what offends you or what doesn’t support you at the same time you are going through it. I think a good solution is asking people what makes them happy, and how life is going. Not specifically, “why are they not pregnant, or married, or with someone.” Maybe ask them what they are doing for themselves, what keeps them happy or how they keep up with their daily routine. It is nice to see more celebrities and people talk about life and the real stories they have because life is hard, love is hard, being happy is hard. I know that we can do better for each other and cheer each other on. Infertility sucks and I am a firm believer that the more cheerleaders and love we have, that the easier an obstacle is to get through. Loving yourself is hard when you are going through a lot and having support and people that genuinely care about your wellbeing is important with any pain you face.
This is your life and you only get one, and whatever you want to do you should do it. If you don’t ever want to have kids that’s fine, and you shouldn’t have to deal with all the questions about relationships or having kids. People always ask when you hit a certain age or you’re with someone for a certain amount of time, what milestone you have hit. I am here to tell you there are no specific milestones you need to hit at any age. I want people to just feel good in their own skin and their own life, wherever you have to go to feel good, do it. When you are in sync with yourself you can get through any obstacle that comes your way. Yes, infertility was just one of the many obstacles I faced but having support and staying focused on happiness no matter the outcome was important. I want people to know that they do not have to be in a relationship if they want a child, they do not have to go in any specific order in their life to feel complete. If you have a career or want to start one, starting a family should not be something that defers you. We should be able to have everything we have ever wanted. We should be able to do anything we want, and in any order that we want to. Don’t stop because of judgement and people’s opinions who don’t matter. Keep going, and find your happiness without outside distractions or fears creeping in. Also, you can always reach out to me for any additional support you may need.